


Do You Want to Steal a Land Deed?

by MadDormouse



Category: CinnamonToastKen - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), The Yogscast
Genre: Gen, Lomadia - Freeform, Nilesy - Freeform, yogscast - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-25 13:07:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1649720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadDormouse/pseuds/MadDormouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Strippin and new companion Ken try and find something to do.  So Strippin makes a suggestion that quickly changes their lives, and the lives of two of his friends:  "Do you want to steal a land deed?"  If only Strippin had clarified, it doesn't have to be a land deed.  But that's a thing called foresight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do You Want to Steal a Land Deed?

The ratio of people who have hindsight and those who have foresight is greatly stacked against the latter. This fact can result in some very interesting circumstances. It's what makes the difference between successfully mining for copper and unleashing a black hole on the world. If only foresight was as 20/20 as hindsight was.  
A lack of foresight usually leads into another familiar term: "cause and effect." The cause of not having foresight, or even common sense, leads to the effect of something bad happening. For example, wanting to steal a land deed from pirates (cause) leads to the pirates chasing after the thief (effect).  
Which is how Strippin and his new companion Ken found themselves running through the forest at night, with a gang of well armed pirates in hot pursuit.  
***(Earlier that evening)***  
Strippin stretched out next to the campfire, basking in the afterglow of a filling, fire roasted meal. On the other side of the flames sat Strippin's newest friend, Ken. The two had only recently met and decided to travel together for an undecided amount of time. The last few days of just surviving and exploring had been enough to content the former Rail Brother, but Strippin was beginning to get restless. He felt like he needed something.  
"We need a purpose," said Ken, looking up into the stars.  
"What's that, Toasty?"  
The bearded man sat up. "We need a goal. We've just been wandering around. We don't even have a specific direction to head in. What we're missing is something to really motivate us."  
"Like starting a company?" asked Strippin.  
"Sure, like that even. We could build something or do something for the other people around this realm," Ken said. "You've got to have some skills. Didn't you mention something about railroads?"  
The muscled man sighed. "That's not really something I do any more."  
"I didn't want to pry, but what happened before? Why have you been traveling around like a hobo?" asked Ken.  
"A hobo?" Strippin scoffed. "Man, would a hobo look this good? You sound just like B- …."  
Ken offered an inviting silence for him to continue.  
"Look, I had a sibling who got hurt because I wasn't able to control my abilities. Now I've run off to be on my own and am just trying to … let it go."  
"What power?" asked Ken.  
Strippin's deep silence was interrupted by a loud fart.  
"Oh, gross!" exclaimed Toasty as he fell backwards to get away from the smell. "Is that your power or just you 'letting it go'?!"  
Strippin held his sides as he laughed. "Both! Haha, oh man, I got you good!"  
"That's foul, man," said Ken, now sitting farther from the flames.  
"I just had to lighten the mood," chuckled the muscled man. "Ooohhh." Strippin paused. "You know, what you were saying isn't such a bad idea. But before we start a company or something, we need a place to live."  
"Right," agreed Ken. "But where. Here?"  
Strippin smiled as a thought solidified. "No, but I have an idea. Hey, do you want to steal a land deed?"  
***  
"There," said Strippin, pointing at a rolled up parchment of paper.  
That specific piece of paper however was in the middle of a pirate camp. Strippin and Ken crouched in the bushes just outside the perimeter of the encampment. Strippin could count at least twelve pirates sitting around eating dinner, patrolling, or cleaning their weapons. The dead in question rested on a small table just outside the largest tent.  
"Are you sure that's a deed?" asked Ken. "Better question. Why this particular deed? Are you sure stealing something from pirates is a good idea?"  
Strippin ignored Ken's excellent display of foresight. "Naw man, this is a magnificent idea! I bet it's a deed to a great place to start a business and build a base. It's just what we need."  
"If you say so," Ken agreed. "So what's the plan?"  
"We wait till night and steal the deed while the pirates are all passed out drunk. Duh."  
Toasty cocked his eyebrow. "If you say so."  
The two men continued to huddle in the bushes as the night passed through the witching hour. Strippin's full stomach soon seemed empty again as he watched the pirates feast on cooked mutton. The pirates did drink a lot of whiskey as the former Rail Bro predicted, but years of drinking built up their resistance to drunkenness.  
"They're never going to pass out!" growled Strippin.  
"Yes they are. Look! There's only a few of them left awake. Just wait," Ken said.  
The muscled man counted the three remaining pirates draining the rum barrels into their cups. He found himself having another brilliant idea, at least as far as he was concerned. Strippin stood up and walked out of the bushes.  
"What the hell are you doing?!" hissed Ken as he chased after his companion.  
Strippin picked up a half-empty tankard and took a swig as he sauntered past one of the blind-drunk pirates. "Just pretend like you belong and they'll think you actually belong, mate. It's all confidence!"  
Ken wanted to argue, but none of three remaining pirates really paid them any attention. The two were able to walk up to the outside of the largest tent. The parchment sat invitingly on a small wooden table. At such a close proximity, both men could clearly see the words 'Land Deed' scrawled across the top of the page.  
"This is it!" whispered Ken with excitement. "What are you waiting for? Take it."  
Strippin's cocky barrier cracked slightly at the prospect of actually stealing something from a band of ruthless pirates. He glanced around once more to make sure he was unobserved, but nobody was paying any attention to them.  
'Act confident,' he thought.  
Strippin picked up the deed and turned towards Ken. "See? No problem."  
A hand burst from the adjacent tent and encased Strippin's wrist in an iron firm grip. The muscled man panicked and attacked the fist with his own free hand. Ken tried to help his friend, to no avail. Strippin was pulled upward as the man attached to the hand emerged from the tent. A towering pirate, completely geared in guns and daggers, glared down at the former Rail Bro.  
"Captain Redblackgreybeard!" Ken exclaimed.  
"Gesundheit!" replied Strippin as he punched the pirate in the abdomen.  
The captain staggered backwards enough to let go of Strippin's arm. However, it wasn't enough to stun him as he swung at Strippin a second later. With the deed firmly in hand, Ken and Strippin booked it out of the camp.  
"Get them! Kill them!" screamed Captain Redblackgreybeard.  
The camp burst to life as the pirates obeyed their captain's orders. The drunk men were already firing bullets into the forest as Strippin and Ken escaped the camp. Despite the night of drinking, the bandits were in hot pursuit.  
Bullets exploded into trees around both men during the escape. Strippin almost lost sight of Ken completely four times, to almost crash into him seconds later while dodging gunfire. Their terrified screams filled the night, alerting the zombies and skeletal archers to their presence.  
"I'm going to die!" shrieked Ken.  
"Shut it, Toasty, we just need to get far enough away!"  
"Look, a ship!" yelled Ken. He was pointing at a small, docked vessel on the shore.  
"That's a boat, but it'll do!" screamed Strippin as a bullet grazed his butt.  
Both man practically jumped from the forest to the open shore to get into the two-seater sailboat. The momentum roughly pushed the boat off of land and into water. Ken found himself pulling at the mainsheet, only to make the sail flap back and forth. Strippin wasn't having any better luck as he tried to paddle the boat by pushing the rudder back and forth.  
The flintlock pistol shots intensified as the pirates broke onto the beach from the tree line.  
"Do something!" Strippin ordered.  
"Like what?" sassed Ken. "Grow wings on my butt and fly us out of here?"  
A sudden gust of wind blow over the island, filling the boat's sail with wind. The rope pulled taut in Ken's hand, making him hold it firmly. As if by providence, the sail remained open at the best angle to power the boat away from the shore.  
"I don't believe it, but we're escaping," sighed Strippin in relief. The gunfire was starting to subside.  
"What do you mean? We had everything under control the entire time," scoffed Ken.  
Their bravado fell when the ship crested the cove to find half a dozen pirates in small boats careening towards them. Despite their fear, the two managed to steer the boat away from the oncoming pirates. As they tacked to right, the boom pole swang just over their heads. Strippin and Ken gave each other terrified looks.  
"We have to get out of here. Where do we go?" asked Toasty. "You know this place better than I do."  
Strippin pointed in the general direction they were heading. "That seems familiar."  
The wind picked up, speeding up their journey across the water. They found themselves not in any ocean, but in a series of connected, large lakes. While the weather aided them in escaping, the wind also helped the pirates in matching their speed.  
"We just have to lose them," said Ken, operating the sail with a quickly learnt skill.  
"But where …" Strippin mused.  
"What's that?!"  
The boat neared what the muscled man thought was another island. However, this one was settled. As they sailed along the coast large, a series of suspended letters came into view. Realization dawned on Strippin as the letters spelled out 'Owl Island.'  
"Should we stop here or-?"  
Ken's question was cut short by a series of gunshots aimed at 'their' ship.  
"I say keep sailing," Strippin replied, maneuvering the boat back and forth in an attempt to serpentine through the attack.  
The ship sailed past the island and in between a smaller floating mass of land. Strippin noticed the strip of land featured a runway pointed towards Owl Island. The grass was starting to grow taller.  
Past the owl sanctuary, Ken and Strippin found themselves in open waters once again. In took several minutes for either of them to realize the gunshots had stopped.  
"What's happening?" asked Toasty. "I can't really see past your fat … whatever. Are they still following us?"  
Strippin looked behind him. The smaller pirate boats were heading towards land, docking with Owl Island. The muscled man doubted they had simply lost the pirates. Their followers must have decided to end the chase and explore the island.  
"They've stopped following us I think," Strippin said. "They're going to Owl Island."  
"Oh thank fuck," Ken sighed. "Oh … do you think anyone was still on the island?"  
"I … don't know."  
"So, where are we heading then? We've got the deed. Where does it say to go?" asked Toasty.  
The comment shocked Strippin out of his thought. He pulled the deed out of his jacket. "Hm, give me a minute. I need to figure out where we are in relation …"  
Most stories that start with a message, such as the importance of foresight, end with a meaningful message to be learned. But you know what? Despite almost dying, neither Strippin or Ken learned their lesson about an adventure that starts with "Do you want to steal a land deed?"


End file.
